I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
