You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
