We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
