I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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