Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
