What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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