HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
