the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
