Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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