We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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