Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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