he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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