Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
