And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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