he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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