so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
