My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
