One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Panties = found
Randomize
