belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
