Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
