There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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