He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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