Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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