im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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