I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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