Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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