I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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