I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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