I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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