She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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