And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
