I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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