Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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