I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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