if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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