I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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