And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
