I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
