she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
