Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
