Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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