she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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