piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
