i just google imaged poop.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
