Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
