Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
