My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
