Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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