Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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