I love black thongs
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
