The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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