put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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